Christmas Fruit Cake

Ingredients

1 cup Water

1 cup Butter

4 large Eggs

8oz Mixed Nuts

1 tsp Salt

juice of 1 Lemon

1 bottle of Bourbon

1 cup Brown Sugar

2 cups Dried Fruit

1 tsp Baking powder

How to Make It

Sample bourbon to check quality.

Take out a large bowl. Before pouring bourbon, check it again, to be sure it's of the highest quality. Then pour one cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one tsp sugar and beat again. Make sure the bourbon is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn on the mixerer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl, then chuck in the dried fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample bourbon to check for tonsiscency.

Next sift two cups of salt, or something. Who cares? Check the bourbon. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turnerer. Throw the bowl out the window, check the bourban again and go to bed.

This recipe is brought to you by Habitat Housewares